，岂不是手脚冰凉，心里又空空的，真可怜呢。电话里感觉外面很吵呢。”
女：“是啊。我在XXX路上走呢，可怜死了。考试没考好，开水瓶又被偷了，毕业论文还被老师骂说写的一塌糊涂，寝室的同学还和我吵架。能不烦么！”
男：“那可真够闹心的。别担心，凡事都有解决的办法。”
女：“那你说我现在该怎么办啊。我好担心呢。你来帮帮我吧。”
到此为止。事情是不是开始好转了？例子是我杜撰的，但是有典型性。如果觉得不真实就请多多见谅了。重点在分析。你发现讲话的技巧没有。女方到这个时候，基本上心情已经慢慢平复了。此时Empathic 的响应任务告一段落。可以进行Autobiographic的响应了。速度很快，是么？
Empathic Listening的特点就是：
1）. Don't judge.
Don't agree or disagree with what the other person is saying.
e.g. That was really smart.
I can't believe you did that.
I totally agree with what you are saying.
2）. Don't probe.
Don't ask questions to obtain information to meet your needs or curiosity.
e.g. What happened?
Tell me more.
What did they say next?
3）. Don't advise.
Don't recommend solutions and counsel based on your opinions and needs.
e.g. The same thing happened to me. Here's what I recommend.
Here's what I think.
This is what I would do if I were you.
那么应该怎么做呢？
1）. Reflect Feeling.
Concentrate on and echo the way the person feels in your own words.
2）. Reflect Meaning.
Restate accurately the content or subject matter of what the person is saying in your own word.
3）. Use Empathic Listening Starters.
e.g. So if I am understanding you correctly, you are saying....
What I'm hearing is...
You seem...
You must have felt...
You feel ( ) about ( )
简单的说，就是，在这个阶段，在对方还不够冷静时，或者双方有误解时，或者双方互不信任时，首先要进行这个阶段的沟通。你并不给出任何判断，也不追问为什么，也不给任何建
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